Blessed by a brain tumor!?!

Recently, I've learned first-hand that blessings often come to us in the most unexpected and unpleasant packages. I've been absent from fellowship for a while because I was unexpectedly diagnosed with a meningioma. (Benign brain tumor that arises from the membranes surrounding the brain and spinal cord.) Many times, meningiomas exist and intervention is not required. However, mine was wrapped around my right optic nerve and also around a branch of my carotid artery. Continued growth endangered both my sight and my life. I must admit, I did not feel blessed when I received the news that immediate brain surgery was indicated. I was flooded with fears about finances, not being able to work, painful recovery time and more. I knew right away that God was calling me to set the right tone for my family and also to demonstrate His presence to everyone concerned. Through this experience, I grew like Miracle Grow had rained down and penetrated the hard ground that had formed over the roots of my faith! Here is a short recount of the many blessings I received as I walked through this experience: 1. My divorced parents and their spouses came together in support of me. They had a meal together at my home the night before my surgery, held hands and lifted me up in prayer. Those of you who have divorced parents know exactly how wonderful this day was for me. 2. I received exceptional, tender nursing care and became aquainted with caregivers experiencing difficult times in their own lives. I was able to love them during hard times in their lives while they were loving me! This was an excellent lesson about how ministry goes both ways. We all need to minister to each other. 3. My sight was restored! My vision went from 20/70 to 20/20. Not only am I tumor free, but I no longer need eye glasses. 4. I struggle. Every day, I struggle to complete tasks that were once easy for me. I can't think straight and no longer have a photographic memory. Some physical tasks are harder to complete. I am often in physical pain and tire very easily. Through these struggles, I've discovered that I am desperate for Jesus! Everyone struggles. When life is too easy, we forget how much we need Him and how abiding in Him instead of relying on our ourselves is where we need to be. I want more than ever to experience the completeness in Him that I cannot provide for myself. 6. I have felt the Lord's comfort and presence in very PROFOUND ways! I always wondered how I would feel in the moments just before going under anesthesia for a dangerous surgery. Would I feel afraid? Would I acutely dwell on what might be the last moments of my life? None of the above. I felt overwhelmingly comforted. I knew I was safe and had the comforting knowledge that, no matter what the outcome of the suregery, I was HIS and I was SAVED. I wouldn't trade that moment for anything! 5. I've noticed 1001 ways to minister to others daily. Not only has my sight been restored, I've been equipped with new eyes that see needs all around me. I'm talking about hidden needs. We can all see and should respond to needs like poverty and hunger, but we should also train our eyes to see needs that aren't on the surface. Pray about that! In the same way that the neurosurgeon opened my head to remove the brain tumor, The Lord has opened my heart to ministry needs all around me. He has opened my eyes to all of the blessings that surround me. My relationship with Him is deeper and I want that for everyone! In the moments of our lives, big and small, the awareness of being in HIS arms, saved and OK, is priceless. He is in control of his Kingdom. We need constant awareness of that as we move through our lives and attend to our calling. Blessed by a brain tumor...who would have guessed? Thank you, Lord for loving me. Help me to learn to love as you have called me to love.

My Official Position on Gay Marriage

My name is Stephanie. It has been 8431 days since my last blog post. (Something must be weighing down my heart...) What is your position on gay marriage? That question has been discussed repeatedly in my social circles since our president's announcement of his position on the matter. Are you for or against gay marriage? I've been accused of "sitting on the fence" by refusing to stand on one side or the other. I've been told that, "I don't know how I feel about the issue" is not an appropriate answer. Evidently, one must know what they believe about every aspect of the human condition. (As if that is even in the realm of human possibility!) So, instead of telling you that I don't know what I believe about homosexuality/marriage/the human condition in general, I will tell you what I DO know and what I BELIEVE about JESUS CHRIST: 1. Miraculous is the place where a believers faith and Jesus' power come together!!! I love the Gospel according to Luke. There is something comforting to me about his scientific approach to sharing the Gospel. He was a physician who investigated everything from the beginning. His account is indeed orderly. I do find comfort and certainty when I read his account. He was a gentile, like me. I imagine that he did not take anything at face value. He was a truth seeker with a scientific mind. Those of us who identify with Luke want more than what we've been told. We want to investigate what we've been told so that we can share the truth with confidence. That being said, I've read the Gospel according to Luke (along with the other gospels) word for word. I've disected and re-disected every sentence over the years. Every time I hear someone preaching from the gospel of Luke, I find another truth that I've overlooked. Most of us are very familiar with the story of the woman healed in Luke chapter 8. Jesus wanted to know who had touched him because he knew power had gone out from him. (THE POWER of JESUS CHRIST!) When the woman came forward, he told her that her faith had healed her. I realized very recently that I have missed one of the most important lessons from this event. There were two elements to her healing! The POWER of Jesus Christ and the woman's FAITH. That miracle occured in that place where the two elements collide. Although this is a story of physical healing, the miracle for us is that we become whole in that place. Jesus power IS. Our faith allows us to access that power and supernatural wholeness, just as the woman's faith in the story allowed her to access supernatural healing. The sum total of our purpose is to spread the news about this supernatural place of wholeness. We are to ensure that others know that through the power of Jesus Christ, we have all been granted access. My challenge to you is to name one person currently on this planet who has not been granted access through the joining of Jesus power and their faith. If the reason that the person has not yet accessed this place is that they have no faith, encourage them to seek Jesus. Don't do anything that will cause them to turn away in shame, fear or anger. I, for one, am over the moon that my human condition does not keep me from experiencing the power of Jesus saving GRACE. It is pitiful when we judge the human conditions of others as unworthy of accessing the power of Jesus Christ. If our human condition could keep us from that place even after the sacrifice of our SAVIOR, then we would all be unworthy. Let's not set limits on the POWER of JESUS CHRIST and his sacrifice that saves us. To paraphrase the first paragraph of Luke's letter, he says, "Trust me...I'm a doctor." I trust his accounting of events and believe with all of my heart in the supernatural wholeness available to all through Jesus. 2. Jesus said, "Do NOT judge..." People often spout Luke 6:27. No one wants to be judged. But we do judge. From the moment we wake up in the morning to the moment we fall asleep at night, we judge. It is part of our human condition. We operate under the misconception that we must know good from bad. We believe we should teach our children the difference between good and bad. We judge our environment as good or bad. It is part of our instinct to survive. We get lost in a never ending, daily cycle of judgement. Think about it. We eat breakfast because it is "good" for us. We wear our seatbelt because it is "good" to be safe. We praise our children when they are "good" and correct them when they are "bad." The problem is, we as human beings do not have the knowledge required to discern good from bad. Seriously. We need to remove the words good and bad from our vocabulaires because we just can't handle them. One minute, we are judging the difference between good and bad meal choices. The very next moment, we are judging someone else's human condition. Slippery slope, it is. (I had to insert at least one Yoda sentence.) The bottom line is, we as human beings do not have the capability to truly know good from bad. All we have to rely on is how we experience the world with our 5 limited senses. What we can do is make educated decisions based on what we see, feel, taste, touch and hear. We can weigh the facts and decide what we believe is best. My next challenge to you is to live an entire day without using the words good and bad. For example, instead of saying, "Dinner was good!" say, "Dinner was delicious." Stick to only what you can experiece with your five senses. It is very interesting when your thinking begins to shift from, "I think this is good," to "I experienced pleasant consequences from this." Three things happen. First, you begin to understand that the world as you know it isn't the world as everyone else knows it. Second, you will begin to realize that not judging anything or anyone takes A LOT of practice. Finally, when you do not engage in judgement, people are drawn to you! They want to know you and are receptive to the gospel. Judgement leads to shame. Shame closes doors and causes despair. I'm not saying let go of your convictions or beliefs about clean living. I'm just saying we all need to relieve ourselves of our perceived duty to patrol who is allowed to move into that place where Jesus' power and our faith collide. We, instead, should be crossing guards putting on the full armor of God. Our swords are giant red stop signs to hold back all of the negative judgement that keeps people from crossing that street. The breasplate of our armor should be an orange traffic vest to protect us from the judgement that may be hurled at us while we are holding up our stop signs. Let's let God be in control of his kingdom by following Jesus advice. "Do not judge!" So, now you know what I believe. Must we continue to allow the enemy to divide us? Those of you who say I'm sitting on the fence are totally right. It is an enlightning place to sit. From here, I can actually see people. They can see me. I hope that I am a reflection of my Lord and Savior. I refuse to engage with anyone who demands my opinion on gay marraige or any other controversial issue. I'm not interested. I am interested in loving on every person who crosses my path. I'm interested in understanding people and their circumstances to the best of my ability. I'm interested in helping as many people as I can find their way to this place where miracles are waiting for them.