Weekday Sunshine!

Mason was the 'leader' on our very long walk this morning. Stopping to admire the neighborhood flowers was rewarded by my determined child nearly jerking my arm out of socket. He insisted that we had to keep moving forward because we were on a journey to the center of the earth. (We rented that DVD from Redbox last week...) I dutifully followed as we made our way through our subdivision, over to the park, past the fake lake, through a tunnel under the road, deep into a sea of houses. His joyful chatter was refreshing. He sees adventure and beauty everywhere! As we walked, I couldn't help feeling like I was playing hooky from responsibility. Instead of working I was spending a glorious morning in the sunshine with my child...as if it was a weekend day free of hectic schedules. As we meandered along, we noticed birds, airplanes and a weeping willow tree. We passed puppies and their people. I reminded him to be friendly to an elderly lady making her daily rounds. I was so proud when he greeted her with a hearty, "Good Morning, Maam!"

We must have walked more than a mile. Since we hadn't thought to put on sunscreen and because sandals weren't such a good choice for walking, I nudged Mason toward home. As we retraced our steps, I continued to push away haunting thoughts of what I would be doing at work. Once we got home, I leisurely put our lunch in the oven. After that, I cut Mason's hair in the kitchen. (He looks handsome, by the way...) We played one round of dominoes and knocked down several domino rallies. We had our lunch, played kickball, and took a bath. Again, I began thinking about how life seems too much like a weekend day...every day!

It is not yet one o'clock. Mason has settled in to rest for a while. (He no longer requires a nap.) I'm going to make sure the cups and plates from lunch make it into the dishwasher, assemble our dinner for tonight, touch up the upstairs bathroom, clean the downstairs bathroom, fold some laundry and prepare to pick Brady up at school at 3. We will come home and have a snack, do some homework, tidy up bedrooms and pop our pre-assembled dinner into the oven. I'm sure Megan will bring a friend home from school. We will spend spend some time laughing and talking about their 8th grade adventures. I'll drop the girls off at Wednesday night youth group and then spend some time doing whatever the boys want to do while they are gone. Many of these activities took place on an average Wednesday evening at our home. The difference is, now I am fully invested in each and every one of these moments! Instead of worrying about contributing money to our household, I am contributing my time and talent to our household. It has made all the difference in the world!

My lesson learned today: I am working! I am providing moral, spiritual and physical training to my children. I am the ONE person fully invested in teaching them how to be contributors. Each and every glorious moment in the sunshine...on a weekday...is part of my contribution to the universe. It just so happens that I LOVE my job. No paycheck? I'm paid in treasure...and sunshine!!!

So, I will mommy-blog...

I'm trying to type while Mason B. is having his big white teddy bear shower me with kisses. This moment is both wildly sweet and mildly annoying. I spend most of my time enthralled by my children and part of my time trying to hide from them. Wait...should I be revealing this in my blog? What kind of mother am I? For the longest time, I thought I was the kind of mother who was better off working away from home all day. Quite frankly, I've never believed that I had the 'chops' to be a full-time stay-at-home mom. I envisioned myself sentenced to slave labor. (Everyone who knows me knows that I HATE housework with a capital H!) At least working full time gave me the perfect cover. I didn't have to be a 'perfect' mom because I had to work. I had a great job and our family couldn't get by on one income. Right? Well...

A week or two ago (I've already lost track of the days...) I made the decision to leave my job. My husband and I had been discussing my staying home for weeks when the opportunity presented itself in the form of departmental changes. Instead of transferring to a different department, I decided that day to make the leap. It was as if the universe was moving in slow motion as the words, "Thank you for the offer but I'd rather explore other opportunities," came tumbling out of my mouth. I was filled with exhillaration and regret all in the same moment. Crap! What was I thinking? Can we really make this work? Seriously? I drove home with tears in my eyes. Tears of joy? I'm not so sure about that.

Jeremy and I already had a plan for living on one income, just in case. Since he works in the aerospace/aviation industry...you just never know what can happen. It occured to me that we would be living in 'back-up plan' mode financially. I spent more than an hour totalling and re-totalling expenses, just to be sure nothing was left out. I emailed friends who poured out supportive advice and tips for robustly living on one income. Budget...check...support network...check...This just might work!

My excitement grows every day as we move forward with our reorganized life. Peaceful moments are starting to out-number chaotic moments. I'm proud to reveal the most meaningful lesson that I've learned in these last several days...

I am a great mom! None of my fears have been realized. It is ok that I am not and never will be a perfect mom. My children didn't want a perfect mom, anyway...they wanted me! Now, ME is what I have to give them. My life is blessed! Fine, Mom...I'll admit that you were right when you told me that no matter what I chose, life would work out. Things do happen for a reason. In this case, things happened the way they did for four reasons...Megan, Brady, Brittany and Mason. The Lord has blessed us beyond measure.