So, I will mommy-blog...

I'm trying to type while Mason B. is having his big white teddy bear shower me with kisses. This moment is both wildly sweet and mildly annoying. I spend most of my time enthralled by my children and part of my time trying to hide from them. Wait...should I be revealing this in my blog? What kind of mother am I? For the longest time, I thought I was the kind of mother who was better off working away from home all day. Quite frankly, I've never believed that I had the 'chops' to be a full-time stay-at-home mom. I envisioned myself sentenced to slave labor. (Everyone who knows me knows that I HATE housework with a capital H!) At least working full time gave me the perfect cover. I didn't have to be a 'perfect' mom because I had to work. I had a great job and our family couldn't get by on one income. Right? Well...

A week or two ago (I've already lost track of the days...) I made the decision to leave my job. My husband and I had been discussing my staying home for weeks when the opportunity presented itself in the form of departmental changes. Instead of transferring to a different department, I decided that day to make the leap. It was as if the universe was moving in slow motion as the words, "Thank you for the offer but I'd rather explore other opportunities," came tumbling out of my mouth. I was filled with exhillaration and regret all in the same moment. Crap! What was I thinking? Can we really make this work? Seriously? I drove home with tears in my eyes. Tears of joy? I'm not so sure about that.

Jeremy and I already had a plan for living on one income, just in case. Since he works in the aerospace/aviation industry...you just never know what can happen. It occured to me that we would be living in 'back-up plan' mode financially. I spent more than an hour totalling and re-totalling expenses, just to be sure nothing was left out. I emailed friends who poured out supportive advice and tips for robustly living on one income. Budget...check...support network...check...This just might work!

My excitement grows every day as we move forward with our reorganized life. Peaceful moments are starting to out-number chaotic moments. I'm proud to reveal the most meaningful lesson that I've learned in these last several days...

I am a great mom! None of my fears have been realized. It is ok that I am not and never will be a perfect mom. My children didn't want a perfect mom, anyway...they wanted me! Now, ME is what I have to give them. My life is blessed! Fine, Mom...I'll admit that you were right when you told me that no matter what I chose, life would work out. Things do happen for a reason. In this case, things happened the way they did for four reasons...Megan, Brady, Brittany and Mason. The Lord has blessed us beyond measure.